so wrong

“you know, there was a time when, if you told me that queen latifah and common were in a movie, i would’ve been excited.”

“yea, but there was a time when if you told me that either of them were putting out a record, i would’ve been excited.”

and that, folks, is the combined wisdom of pound writers. i finally met newly-minted book writer, luke fox. i got to big him up personally for his track for track breakdown of the “back to back (kanye) lps that sound the same” that rendered dood “bitch as missy”.

this movie is a debacle, but i guess as far as rappers turned actors go, these two are pretty evenly matched. i’ve said that while common’s acting sucks, it’s made him better at communicating different styles as a rapper-though the “real electric circus” album was still inexcusable as his midlife crisis, pharell really should not have the hardest verse (“my dick is like a blowpop baby, and it gets stiffer than some botox, baby”)on your album, rachid. he really needs to work on his looks, though, his eye-work is mad awkward. everything can’t be a smoldering glare, man. one of the worst moments is when they connect over chocolate chip cookies with marshmallows…”INCREDIBLE!” at the piano (yes, she sings). another is a date that la is on when a dood concludes the evening with “you’re the bomb dot com!”(i texted my newest ’79 friend this and she probably thought i was sippin’ wack juice), and the worst is the title climax quote-“leslie, you’re just wright for me”. it’s kind of embarrassing that somebody wrote these awful lines of dialogue in a film starring two emcees, a sad moment for hip hop, or a sign that it’s finally crossed over. but i feel that way every time i see queen latifah over-posturing in a movie/at a michael jackson tribute. i contributed to a discussion about how she’s overcompensating femme in order not to be the spokesperson for lesbians and how it would be nice to see her dyke it out with oprah onscreen but it wouldn’t sell-oh really? i beg to differ. i think it would sell, even if it would never happen. but obviously, her recent forays into “film” have all but erased the traces of set it off, just like her latest musical endeavors have all but erased the traces of ladies first.

there’s also some creative imagining when it comes to the casting of moms in this film. common’s (sorry, scott’s) mom is clair huxtable, er, phylicia rashad and latifah’s (sorry, leslie’s) mom is foxy brown, er, pam grier. now i know these women look good, but is this supposed to be a comment on teenage mothers?

but the bottom line is, i still care. that’s why i will still keep watching, if only to make irreverent and circular comments to myself (sigh). for the record, i was only trying to watch a trailer online, when i was linked to the opportunity to see the premier live with an eclectic, packed house in my city-if you would’ve told me that i would’ve been in the front row craning my neck in the presence of old white folks interacting with the movie, i probably wouldn’t have believed you. but there’s something so unbelievable about this entire experience.

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