i believe this selection came from a list that i made one day after the spice at the centre for women and trans people at uoft. after making a delicious lunch, i was allowed to camp out with a pile of bust magazines up to my eyebrows. while i can relate to the situation of being bounced from family to family, my alienation came from those who actually gave me life, yet a) bounced and never looked back, and b) stuck around but never missed the chance to remind me that i was a burden to try to keep dropping off on someone else’s doorstop and resign defeatedly to keep me if i found my way back, breadcrumbs or not. i’m fascinated muchly by siblings, and how folks who came from the same parents and grew up in the same homes eating the same food could turn out so different. the unspoken spoken here is how the girls learn to relate to each other in fleeting yet clinging ways-it’s like they adjust to the fact that they could be separated at any moment, so they don’t get too attached to each other. as time goes on, they also start to see that they’re each other’s only constants.
“Part of me would rather have been playing outside with the other kids, but I hated not knowing anyone. On the first day, Mrs. Just assigned Marcy Levesque to show me around, and I thought she might be my friend, but at the morning recess, when she asked me if I needed to go to the rest room, I said, “No thanks, I’m not tired.” She thought I was kidding and laughed; then when she realized I didn’t know that rest room meant toilet, she laughed even harder. The library was easier. I liked the way the books smelled, and how after time, my hands smelled like them, like dust and old paper and other people’s stories.” (91)