augusten burroughs is a lie. ok cool, sunday sensationalism aside-it’s an assumed name. this book is the story of his big brother and his life with asperger’s. i’m not quite sure how this one got onto my list, either, but it might have been the scientific american podcast, or something podcast-related, one of the libraries’ or npr books….however it happened, i’m glad. dood was kind of the devil, right? i’m not sure if it’s a teenage thing, or a social outcast thing, but some of the pranks that he came up with were really elaborate and mean. but that’s what makes for good reading. here’s what he tells his kid about santa claus:
“Because Santa skims some of the toys he’s supposed to give away, selling them on the black market in Russia and Mongolia, places where they don’t have Christmas. Toymakers donate stuff to Santa on the condition that he gives them all away, and he’s not supposed to sell toys. But he’s got a drinking problem and he can’t help himself.” (230)
i mean, damn. my recent analogy that santa is the template of deadbeat dads everywhere-daddy just comes around one night of the year to drop off a gift, and you don’t even see him because he has to jet in the night to give presents to all his other children that he doesn’t see either…is at least a little sympathetic to the man who probably has diabetes due to the fact that he just binges on cookies, not to mention the carbon footprint he leaves…but the above is on some next level shit.