this is it-the last of the (book-form) carlins. you gotta love a pedantic comedian, and i thought of him last night as i was coming home and listening to countless people refer to the streetcars as buses, and the night before as the folks in front of me at the game were making duck face and taking a thousand pictures to prove they were at an event that they weren’t even watching. not a big deal, except they were preventing me from seeing it, too. the lesson here-i’m not a good person to sit in front of at the acc-for neither raptor game nor prince concert. bigups to the sugar hill gang, naughty by nature, and my demar derozan doll (4851 of 10,000)-he’s truly for the kids, tweeting about giving books. my tipsy shoutout (pete made me a mini gin and juice and presented me a dr. dre sticker) probably won’t make it onto the club’s official publicity roll, but it should. just sayin’. i may have been rejected from participating in the drag musical for being too old, but life is still pretty fuckin’ fantastic.
“Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.” (8)
“People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.” (9)
“If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settle for very little.” (59)
“Jesus doesn’t really love you but he thinks you have a great personality.” (102)
“My main operating principle: Don’t take any shit from the zeitgeist.” (142)
“In Los Angeles, there’s a hotline for people in denial. So far no one else has called.” (230)