is everyone hanging out without me? (and other concerns)-mindy kaling

this quick read brought almost as much conversation as jane lynch‘s, so the moral of the story is-carry around a new book written by a female in a recently success-full american television franchise (even if it’s a remake of a british show). naaw, just kidding-the real lesson is be a female writer in a success-full american television franchise. pshaaaw. like angela nissel didn’t write the book on that, and co-found okayplayer.com first. we were once friends on myspace, and i got her with the ever logical (and still true) “girls whose names begin and end with ‘a’ are awesome, you know that, right?” but i better stop before someone accuses me of being adam sandler for even mentioning myspace.

the woman is funny, though. now maybe i’ll give the american office a chance. it’s just that nobody beats gervais.

“What happened to me was something that I think happens to a lot of professional comedy writers or comedians, or really anyone who’s passionate about anything and discovering it for the first time. Most people who do what I do are obsessed with comedy, especially during adolescence. I think we all have that moment when our non-comedy-obsessed friends or family are like: ‘Nope. I’m at my limit. I can’t talk about In Living Color anymore. It’s kind of funny, but come on.’” (40)

riiight? obsession is the mother of all…yea-that’s actually a pretty complete sentiment in itself.

“But then, behind Paris, I saw Sacha Baron Cohen quietly exit the restaurant completely unnoticed, walk up to the valet, get in his car, and drive away. Can you believe that? I mean, it’s Sacha Baron Fuckin’ Cohen! (Wasn’t sure where to put the fuckin’ in there, but I think I chose right.) None of the paparazzi had any idea who he was, but he was also, like Conan, one of the most respected living comedy icons in the world. And I thought, Man, I want to be that famous.” (59)

me fuckin’ too. countdown to the dictator, my posse. yes nehal, i said “posse”, but i still want to see you quote froho all the same. i love that promo for this upcoming epic is just a large portrait staring down on all of us in yonge/dundas square.

“WHEN I GET OLD, I’M A SIGHT GAG FOR TV SHOWS

I want to be so famous that people put me in their TV shows as the dessicated old broad who gets big laughs simply because no one has ever seen such an old bag of bones recite memorized lines, and because the sight of me brings up warm, nostalgic memories of their youth. Future hipsters will love me ironically.” (61-2)

ouch. that’s a sharp betty white dig.

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One thought on “is everyone hanging out without me? (and other concerns)-mindy kaling

  1. feminism is for everyone:

    “However, you should know I disagree with a lot of traditional advice. For instance, they say the best revenge is living well. I say it’s acid in the face-who will love them now? Another old saying is that revenge is a dish best served cold. But it /feels/ best served piping hot, straight out of the oven of outrage. My opinion? Take care of revenge right away. Push, shove, scratch that person while they’re still within arm’s reach. Don’t let them get away! Who knows when you’ll get this opportunity again?” (4)

    “What my dad didn’t realize at the time was that while I was cementing the mechanics of riding the bike, I was also cementing my hatred for doing it. I just decided I hated it, and that was that. You cannot begin to understand the power of my irrational hatred at twelve years old, but it’s the kind of hatred that lasts. It’s the same mysterious and powerful hatred that reared its head later in life for other things, like hiking, orientation games, and having to watch any kind of pageant whatsoever.” (23)
    “A handful of bad experiences when I was small have made me a confirmed nonathlete. In psychology (okay, /Twilight/) they teach you about the notion of imprinting, and I think it applies here, I reverse-imprinted with athleticism. Ours is the great non-love story of my life.” (30)

    “And Jana, sweet old Jana, was crazy about horses. Like super-nutso crazy about horses-that was her thing. All her drawings and back-from-vacation stories and Halloween costumes were horses. She would even pretend to be a horse during free period and lunch. We had to feed her pizza out of our hand, and she’d neigh back ‘thank you’. Now I was getting bored of driving forty-five minutes with her parents to the equestrian center to pretend to care about her galloping back and forth in her horse recital or whatever.” (40)

    “It was October 2001 and I lived in New York City. I was twenty-two. I, like many of my female friends, suffered from a strange combination of post-9/11 anxiety and height-of-/Sex-and-the-City/ anxieties.” (66)

    “We would talk like this, in complete unironic seriousness, for hours. The reason I was better than other babysitters was that I would never rush them. In me they had an open-minded listener to every pro and con of spending the rest of their lives with each band member of ‘N Sync. I may have gotten more out of it than they did.” (69)

    “I’m the kind of person who would rather get my hopes up really high and watch them get dashed to pieces than wisely keep my expectations at bay and hope they are exceeded. This quality has made me a needy and theatrical friend, but has given me a spectacularly dramatic emotional life.” (70)

    “People wanted to talk to me about what interested them, and I was good at listening to them and not telling them to stop talking. This would come in handy for me later when I became a producer on /The Office/.” (76)

    “This was the problem of living in a post-Sarah Silverman world: lots of young women holding the scepter of inappropriateness did not know how to wield it.” (78)

    
“I simply regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world created therein has different rules than my regular human world. Then I just lap it up. There is no difference between Ripley from /Alien/ and any Katherine Heigl character. They’re all participating in the same level of made-up awesomeness, and I enjoy every second of it.” (99-100)

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