“that sounds like a romance”
that was an actual response from a male co-worker when he saw what i was reading. i didn’t really have anything for that. but then, i didn’t really think we were a city that had paparazzi for mark ruffalo, either. especially outside of the cbc. i stand corrected. i was charmed by shalom auslander’s voice and words via podcast-namely the philly free library‘s, this american life, and the moth. much to my absolute pleasure, his voice is just as amazing when it reads from one’s own head. the delay on which this blog is operating is reminding me that i’m still waiting for beware of god-c’mon library. i laughed very hard at many times during this logical meditation on the existence of a benevolent god and how humans (specifically those in our families) fuck up their actions based on this possibility that should bring us closer together, and not drive stakes through our hearts.
“With their bright red and yellow wrappers, Slim Jims seemed more like candy than a forbidden food. Had God even seen these things? How could He get so worked up about candy? He was going to torture a kid because of candy? It wasn’t as if I’d ordered a hot dog. I wasn’t completely in this world, and hoped if I started at the shallow end, with a Slim Jim, He might just vaguely dislike me, or generally prefer the company of others.” (80-1)
“I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and shoved as much of the Slim Jim into my mouth as I could, coiling it up inside my mouth like a pig-flavored garden hose, forcing the last few reddish brown inches with the tips of my impure, trembling fingers as I tried in vain to squeeze my lips shut.” (84)
“–It’s one lousy pepperoni. You’re going to ‘loathe me in this world and torture me in the next’ over a fucking pepperoni? This is why nobody likes You.” (160)