sometimes in life, we don’t know when things change. other times, there is a clear, demarcated turning point. my opinion of jonathan ames has been shifting, but this is the exact moment that i was sure of my love:
“So I sat there about another half hour, and then to help pass the time, I went to the deli and bought a banana split, which was something I loved as a child. And then into this happy scene that damn couple returned to collect their laundry-including, I imagined, her sweet panties and bras; I should have gone in there and clutched them to my face when I had the chance-and again the boyfriend stared me down. This was getting ridiculous. So much staring! And I must have looked even more creepy now that I had a half-eaten ice cream bar in one fist and a half-eaten banana in the other. I wished I could explain to them that I was trying to recapture my youth and was also crazy with boredom waiting for a friend who was late for an animal sacrifice that she herself had organized.” (128, The Sacrifice)
it is from this book that i got the idea of stand-up tragedy, and “fiction=feigning, invention” (ames didn’t invent it, but he did alert me to the definition that i would never have thought to look up. he also did inspire me to look up “porn stars without balls” because he made the claim that it was common, and i’d never noticed before. that was an interesting search. oh yea, and i’m now thinking of reading joyce carol oates because he was his advisor.