satisfaction-karrine steffans

some writers just make you shake your head and wonder, “who’s your editor?” but hey-to hate or not to hate on carving a (wack) niche? i admit that i’ve read every single book that superhead has put out, and about halfway through this one, i realized that she occupies the same space as a certain newly bald-headed canadian writer except that pound for pound, the lady’s the one that comes out swinging. that’s not to say that i completely understand her motivations or her tone for many of her choices:

“Yes, I know this is all rather meta. I’m writing a V-Log about you, even though I don’t know you exist yet because I’m writing this V-Log now. Oh, and your friend-the one that recommended this book to you-hasn’t even read the book yet, even though you’re in it. How could she? It’s not out yet, because I’m just writing it. But wait, you’re holding the book in your hands and reading this V-Log right now, so that means the book’s out. And you’re in it! Confusing? Of course it is. Meta stuff can be pretty hard to follow.” (246)

“Before I go any further, can I just say, um…ew? Like, super-ew? Uber-ew? Ew to the infinity times forever? Yeah. That. Okay, back to this…” (252)

“As I live and breathe, writing some of the things in this book makes me feel like a literary whore. That’s right. I said it. I am a woman expected to write about sex for money. I’m a hooker for hardbacks.
And I love it!” (258-9)

“There are plenty of couples thrilled with their all-missionary-all-the-time sex lives and wouldn’t have it any other way. If you and your partner are one of those couples, please, give this book to your mother. Seriously. She’s probably having better, more adventurous sex than you.” (3)

“(Oh, and before I go any further, let me say right now that I am perfectly aware that the term hoe is incorrect as a slang term for ‘whore’. Yes, I know that a hoe is a garden tool. Really, people, that line is so overused. I’m strictly using the word hoe colloquially. I’ve never liked the look of the word I’m supposed to use as the slang for ‘whore,’ which is ho’, with an apostrophe, indicating that the w, r, and e have been dropped. In that case, shouldn’t it be ‘ho’’, with apostrophes for each missing letter? Anyway, it just looks all kinds of wrong, like you’re talking about Santa or something. I like my hoe-for-whore spelled like a garden tool, so for the purposes of this book and for right now, our slang for ‘whore’ will be hoe. Deal with it. Now, back to the main event.)” (47)

“Of course, none of that was meant to be offensive to cougars.” (212)

(sigh). i guess the level of antagonism towards one’s audience is always a hard one to figure out. shouts to all the lovely folks orbiting samurai bambi for being amazing. y’all really got it like dat.


One thought on “satisfaction-karrine steffans

  1. neurotica?

    “He responded in kind with a deep and satisfying groan, convulsing against me as he filled my throbbing pussy with his thick white jizz. He emptied what felt like a tsunami of cum, and then thrust one last time, as if making sure he’d drained himself completely. He pulled out without ceremony. His rapid exit caused my hole to make a suctioning sound that both surprised and embarrassed me. I glanced back apologetically, but he was already gone, his warm essence oozing out of my bruised pussy like primordial goo, past my engorged clit, onto the sheets.” (26)

    “Previously made plans sometimes fall by the wayside without the benefit of reminders, but with this kind of fantasy, a reminder would ruin everything. Your husband can’t say, ‘Don’t forget, on Thursday morning at nine forty-five, I’ll be bursting in to rape you!’ That would make this whole fantasy moot.” (85)

    “You taste me, and not only me, but the hundreds upon hundreds of men who have, quite literally, come before you. You taste the pain of a thousand nights spent parading alone on that desperate strip, in search of-in search of. You taste me with appreciation and delight, relishing all your palate encounters. You devour me. Tonight, I am loved.” (93)

    “Take your time. Reacquaint yourselves with each other. Re-meet his meat. Your husband’s, that is. He’s got a dick, too, you know, and his dick has feelings. His dick isn’t stupid. It knew you were transferring your affections to another. It’s not blind. Well, maybe it is, but still. You get my point.” (131)

    “Show his dick some love. Give it some praise. Give it a fist bump with your mouth.” (131)

    “I fastened my lips tighter around the tip and sucked and sucked and sucked, savoring the gamy taste of his delicious meat.” (134)

    “A few strokes of your mound and careful maneuvering in the areas around your labia and near your butt later and…/voila/! Your hoohah is as clean as a baby’s. You step out of the shower again, wipe away the steam from the bathroom mirror, and check yourself out. It is so fresh and so clean-clean. It’s gorgeous. You’re gorgeous. Oh yes, your newly hairless peeper is going to blow your hubby’s mind!” (220)

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