this is how you lose her-junot diaz

“hey-are you chinese?”



“are you working for the census?”

“no, just curious. i’m not hitting on you, don’t worry.”

(mumble mumble swear swear, fumbling with saving something on public library account and personal USB)

“Instead of lowering your head and copping to it like a man, you pick up the journal as one woudl hold a baby’s beshatted diaper, as one might pinch a recently benutted condom. You glance at the offending passages. Then you look at her and smile a smile your dissembling face will remember until the day you die. Baby, you say, baby, this is part of my novel. This is how you lose her.” (48)

i loved the philly free library podcast talk on this one about open relationships and the failure of the institution of marriage and the expectation of monogamy. it’s about time we started questioning why we’re so quick to judge each other for failing at something that’s clearly broken without questioning its existence. relationships are something, huh? we can’t live with them, and we can’t live without them. for a particularly poignant rendition-go to ludicris and monica’s track on battle of the sexes. is the one that keeps coming back like whack-a-mole despite strongly worded cease and desist messages the one that you should pay attention to? or we all trapped in this circle of validation denied that we can no longer look objectively at this situation so-called love? i just texted my girl “there’s no expiration date on our friendship” and i wonder if this could be true of our romantic relations too? i figure it is, for those never consummated, but what’s the fun in that?

“we ain’t married but tonight i need some consummation” thank you, library, for bringing all these albums into my life. and thank you, kanye, for being such a lovable jerk-still shaking my head at this one:

“my girl is a superstar based on one home movie”

“this is what i know: people’s hopes go on forever.” (72)


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