“Make up stories until you find one you can live with.” (292)
“I fought like a woman whose father betrayed her and whose mother abandoned her. He fought like a man who never had a father and whose mother’s didn’t quite reach him. Working out our childhood wounds at each other. Because…because we could take it. Because there was something on the other side.” (259)
“He was never cut out for a woman like me with a rage bigger than Texas. Although I’ve since learned that extreme passivity has its own power.” (59)
“The way women in their twenties who are working out their ouch on everyone they meet do. Open wound girls. Swinging fist girls.” (61)
i may have made that point too strong last week-but twenty-year olds are mad obnoxious, right? and they can be some mean fucking cunts because they’re insecure. i told one in a rather direct way that she would find out when she was in her ’30s that she doesn’t know shit, as she currently thinks that she knows everything, and at that point she would stop being so damn ungreat-full.
but, in retrospect-nobody wants to hear such a thing. especially not a petty, know-it-all, sullen, bratty, negative, destructive asshole of a 22-year old. but i was wrong to express that so harshly, but to be fair, i have been listening to all her whingeing for a year, and even taking some of it seriously, only to be met with her terrible face and her degradation-so i hit the brink. i need to improve on this, but i refuse to take full responsibility for someone else’s cunty-we all do contribute to our lives and those of the ones around us.
anyways-this book was very power-full and i will now (i probably would’ve before) accept every other recommendation that lee ever makes. we still need to get together to talk about it.
i’m pretty jealous of the writing group described in the foreword, and the multiple instances of the protagonist eating paper did not escape me.
“Without order. Your life doesn’t happen in any kind of order. Events don’t have cause and effect relationships the way you wish they did. It’s all a series of fragments and repetitions and pattern formations. Language and water have this in common.” (28)
“I didn’t have a plan. I had grief. I had rage. I had my sexuality. I liked books more than people. I liked to be drunk and high and fuck so I didn’t have to answer questions like this.” (122)
“You see it is important to understand how damaged people don’t always know how to say yes, or to choose the big thing, even when it is right in front of them. It’s a shame we carry. The shame of wanting something good. The shame of feeling something good. The shame of not believing we deserve to stand in the same room in the same way as all those we admire. Big red As on our chests.” (199)
the metaphors are so strong, they are liquid in solid ink.