journal mine #4

the journal: small smooth black leatherette with a nneka sticker (either autographed by nneka herself or yinka in 2011), vehicle numbers to report ttc nonsense, and a recommendation for the principles of uncertainty (put on hold). it features writings and/or drawings from nehal, strombo, dany laferriere, and another public figure that i had a 24-hr non-consumated relationship with (as i do).

here are the earmarked pages:

– “tap tap tap on a typewriter that folds up and i want to follow suit, bend myself to fit into all associated grooves from beneath your chin, down-broken spines couldn’t keep me away, on the margins of your annual plan and annotated bibliography would be a lovely place to stay”

dang, i’m hellaromantic. too bad i’m so good at walking down the aisle one heartbeat after someone looks my way, lol. i guess i’m just in love with the idea of love, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

– “how do we structure our personal hierarchies of friendship-which tidbits of each other’s souls do we steal in order to create really great liner notes-what do we plagiarize once we recognize that we have a larger audience, and at what cost?”

i’m sure this was some kind of pre/poem, but i have a tendency to write this proesry in my journals…

– “my problem isn’t that i haven’t found someone who is my perfect match, my problem is that i have”

uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, i’m gonna-this is actually quite accurate and brilliant-i should remember that.

– “ne cherchez pas le sujet, c’est lui qui vous trouvera”-dany laferriere

– “i hear my history in the stumbles of the rhyme schemes of young poets-their sweet optimism that reminds us that we all need to keep reading books”

– “what’s the point of holding a mic if you’re not going to speak into it?”

and, i never said i wasn’t an asshole-but i am often also right. i’m pretty sure i wrote this about someone i was recently reunited with…

– “there are times when you fold and others when you go balls deep. lord grant me the strength to know the difference”

this must’ve been around the time when i heard kanye flip the serenity prayer with “may all your pain be champagne”

– “there are the loves that make you stronger when you/they leave and the ones that make you stronger when you/they stay. i’ve known many of the former and i think that qualifies me to live the latter. bring it.”

again-no accidents. this is all i need to hear right now, and affirm that i already knew-out of all the journals that i decided to pick up and go through right now?

– “i’m happy financially, but upset that so many people missed the point” –sister souljah

– “sister-like in the dictionary” -(ibid).

i remember texting nehal many of the quotes that came out of this talk that sister souljah gave at oise, and that’s probably why they’re not in here, but i did manage to get a few in. what a night.

– “we are not our religions”

– “stuck in the middle with you-i have been the catalyst, or the division”

six of one, half a dozen of the other-i have known my lane.

– “naked legs in public say a lot-they broadcast freedom and cellulite.”

i’ve always been good at killing it from the beginning-this happened in writer’s bootcamp

– “no snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible”-voltaire

– “btw, that hip hop advice column is not going to write itself”

reminder to add that to the list of things that my baby mama and i haven’t done yet…

– “in/voluntary solitude”

– “we’ll never have a renaissance if we speak about movement and refuse to move”-kamau

i’m not sure where i heard/saw him, but i’m always glad when i do

– “nehal is for the children

– “pigs have ear wax too”

from a cookbook store (when it existed) event about offals

– “making something out of nothing vs. realizing that you already have everything you need”

– “between forgiving too easily and never giving at all”-audre lorde

– “when you see clearly-moving and staying actually look the same, and things and people you try to avoid always keep finding a way to show up.”

– “stretching memory past its available capacity is like following the bones of the cat when it’s s t r e t c h i n g.”

these are both bootcamp quotes, i love bootcamp.

– “?uestlove is like an older tyler that hasn’t show us his dark side yet”-shaheen

– “heresy-hearsay”

– “breasts of fresh air”

– “FUCK outkast”-yannick

i did the annoying thing of writing in all different directions in this book, and missing pages, so i guess it just must have felt “done”. it also contains the loose prompts from bootcamp, and i will devote another blog to a piece that i wrote that i really like set in a laundromat.

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