everything changes (part won)-joe tropper

“As always, Norm is judging success solely on the level of drama generated, rather than the actual result. I guess I really shouldn’t expect anything more from someone for whom the traveling has always been famously better than the arrival.” (199)

“If I could tell her the truth, I would say I’m looking for flaws. Because that’s what you do when you’re in love with someone you don’t want to be in love with. You look for imperfections in their skin, oddities in their features. You picture how they will age, where time will tarnish them. You try to catch them at harsh angles, discern some measure of awkwardness where their limbs connect to their trunks. You search for these deficiencies with an air of desperation, ready to lay claim to whatever you find, to inflate it grotesquely in your mind, and in doing so set yourself free.” (206)

“Somehow, discussing it would turn it into a promise, broken before it was even made, and after a disappointment like that we could never go back to the sweet, untouchable love that now courses through our collective veins.” (207)

“I may have only kissed Tamara once, but the damage has been done, because now, as I stand naked in Hope’s writing embrace, I feel like I’m cheating on both of them simultaneously. Nothing like a guilty conscience to hamstring the anatomy.” (243)

“She looks up at me, her eyes wide and stricken. ‘You didn’t choose me,’ she says softly. ‘You felt this way all this time, and you didn’t choose me. And if we hadn’t gotten caught the way we did, you’d still be with Hope. Ad I can’t be the consolation prize, Zack. I might be lonely, and I might love you, but I will not start the rest of my life as anyone’s backup plan. Not even yours.’” (286)

“You never know when it might be the last time you’ll ever make love to someone. If you did, you’d pay more attention.” (291)

“I want to take it back and do it again, all at the same time.” (164)

on this evening of reclaiming my sanctuary (to a soundtrack of eminem and anita baker), these are the perfect passages to let speak for themselves.

shoutout to my sista and the bay street “hotel” spa retreat that she’s shared with me this weekend, all of the goddesses who have stepped in to share, help and remind me of what i believe in. i’ll have more words for part too.

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