the apology-dir. tiffany hsiung

“i can’t die. it would be easier for everyone if i just died, but i can’t die.”

phew. i knew that this would be a hard one to watch. in many ways i’m great-full for the easing in, with the talk at oise last tuesday (thanks, mich) when we were in the presence of grandma gil. but 13 seconds into the trailer, the tears were flowing free.

frankly, i’m just not sure how there are people left in the world. with all the large-scale rapes/tortures/murders that happen, and i’m sure that for every one that makes it to the public eye there are at least three or four that lie just at the outskirts of our peripheral visions.

but perhaps knowing that we all exist (max) six degrees from ptsd brings some clarity to why we are as fucked up emotionally as we are, but it unfortunately also highlights how cyclical and exponential violence is.

i didn’t know until the very last minute if i could make it-but when i woke up on mother’s day, i knew that i had to make my way straight to the rush line. i arrived 45mins before and was anointed #90 in the line. but i stayed, even in the brief rain.

i made it, and because i don’t know my mother-acknowledging the legacy of tears and unnamed girl (who aged into women) victims of (militarized) sexual violence was exact way that i decided to hold space. and it was the perfect screening, as all my sisters (mich, teya, eirene, rina, heidi, sook-yin) and titas (olivia) were there, and we all showed up for the grandmas.

the most inspiring part of the story was that despite all the violence and residual ghosts, the grandmas still became mothers and found enough love to pass along to their children, some of them late in life.

the direction was perfect-funny, charming moments were inserted just when you thought your heart would break. bigups to tiffany for committing so much time, energy and life to bringing this to life. my favourite was the ongoing challenge of the infuriatingly false label of “comfort women”-this is basically the most uncomfortable situation imaginable, and if we were to truly name them as stolen 11-year-old girls who were drugged and raped constantly, that might make the case that this was a “necessary situation” a bit harder to make.

but then again, jian ghomeshi.

for the korean grandmas who have gathered every wednesday at noon since 1992 at the japanese embassy, and in the interest of believing all survivors, this blog will rededicate “hump day” to healthy and consensual relations and relationships.

hashtag, no more crushing women.


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