men-laura kipnis

“Writing about someone is a kind of intimacy, after all: as in any relationship there’s a lot of projection. It goes without saying that we make other people up according to our own necessities and imaginative horizons, writers no less than spouses, nonfiction writers no less than novelists.” (2)

“This pleased me a little too much-I wanted his good opinion, yet I also wanted not to care about what he thought of me.” (17)

“Here’s a world, not so unlike our own, in which knowledge is power; but if only men are granted knowledge, women are natural born losers. To say that this is a fabulously misogynistic film is an understatement, but it’s a version of misogyny that’s so pleasurable and cleverly orchestrated that I find myself loving every minute of it. (Then hating myself in the morning.)” (36-7)

“Why can’t thorns-in-sides just keep on being thorns-in-sides-do they have to get adoration for it too? It’s disheartening to watch the former cultural nuisance join in his own rehabilitation, so moved by all the love that he forgets to thumb his nose at the niceties he used to abhor.” (47)

Any reader’s dislike of your work is an injury: you’ve offered yourself to them, like offering your body to be caressed, and being refused is shaming.” (102)

“Also, I’m just lazy: I don’t like having to rise to the bait like some sort of earnest marionette, it’s too exhausting. I prefer to just spread a thick layer of irony over the situation and hope my opponents smother in it.” (108)

“Has no one ever mentioned to Peck that the shriller the accusation, the more it reeks of projection?” (173)

“The literature of bad sex is alarmingly extensive (as in bad writing about sex, though these aren’t necessarily the same thing), and a mainstay of the genre is the cautionary tale aimed at dissuading women from having sex, or sex of the wrong kind, or with the wrong people.” (197-8)

and so the thoughts have shifted from writing and men and sex to the subject and object positions when writing about sex. or writing as sex. i mean, the goal of all artists is to create, and who doesn’t get off on creating something fantastic.

i mean-have you ever cooked something amazing?


put together a bangin’ outfit?

written/sang/painted/woven some shit that you just know is amazing?

sorry, chocolate. making something beauty-full (whether you “succeed” or not) is way more satisfying.

some people just fuck up (and around) and make some kids, which is not the same thing at all….though it becomes a reason (or excuse) for not trying to make art anymore. but that’s just another way of ceding control over your own happiness, and i’m never down with that.

plus we all know the poor kids who either try too hard to get their parents’ attention by living out their second-generation lost dreams or break themselves trying to “make it” to prove them wrong. nobody likes them, so we should take it a step further back and start hating on their parents, too. look at your children and if that’s you-stop it. you’re doing the rest of us who will have to be in the world with your spawn no favours.


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