little victories-jason gay

“i will find my tribe”

“Technology is rushing to reduce the routine of everyday human contact, the assumption that human contact is, you know, a pain. Anything that verges on a person-to-person experience is now considered extraneous, worthy of streamlining, if not total elimination.” (150)

“The proper way to use and appreciate technology is to recognize that it all becomes disposable and useless, like razors and college diplomas.” (145)

the first quote came out of my mind earlier this afternoon. in these moments of reflection after the inspiring conference and my balanced vacation of activity and sloth, i have decided to officially be done with okcupid. i gave it a good go, even though i never truly believed and quit multiple times-let’s not beat a dead horse. i got a pretty good log book out of it, and learned a lot.

“Why? Because an odd number helps. Even-numbered dinners invariably become gatherings of couples, and here’s what’s interesting about a dinner that’s exclusively couples: zero. Unless you want to spend the entire night talking about real estate and the lice breakout in the sixth grade, invite an unattached spare, who will be picked apart at the table like a med school cadaver, making for hours of easy entertainment at his or her personal expense.” (156-7)

“…and yes-we have lost all perspective from those low moments. We get overwhelmed and frustrated with our kids like anyone else.” (188)

“Nothing makes you love a parent more than seeing their love for your own kid.” (201)

and i suppose i can’t get away from thinking and talking about relationships-to relationships, with other peoples’ relationships, kids, parents, other peoples’ kids and parents….i am talking to my dad again, and that’s cool.

“I find it very hard to get mad at the ‘state’ of pop music. I feel people have been mad about the state of pop music my entire life. This is not to say that there are songs or trends I don’t get, or like, or even have the capacity to listen to. But it is to say that the point of pop music, in fact, is to appeal to something that’s the opposite of me-someone younger, fresher, more eager. This is how it works. When you were thirteen years old, you did not say to yourself, Wow, I’d like to buy this record, but first I need to know what all the fortysomething dads think.” (74)

if nothing else, what has become completely apparent to me in the past week is that my most profound relationship has been with american music. when asked why i passed on a date that i recommended to my girl, my answer was that he didn’t like the latest kanye album, which is as close to perfect as you can get.

i love the moment that the author describes about interviewing robin williams, and that point when the conversation turned to a topic that someone truly loves and the whole tone changes-in this case, it was cycling (who knew). i can only imagine how special that moment was, both in real time and in retrospect-when he talked about how going fast on a bike is the closest you can get to flying.

“Specificity is intimacy, of course.” (9)

of course.

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