how to talk to a widower-joe tropper

“The point is, you couldn’t be intimate with me because I mattered, but you could give yourself to a married woman who didn’t matter without any problem. And I’m not judging you, Doug. Please don’t think that I am. You were grieving and alone, she was a compassionate friend. Things happen. But the fact is, it’s just not the behavior of someone who is ready for a real relationship, and I like you too much to let you drag me through your shit with you.” (315)

“Pity, I’ve learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can’t stand anyone else’s.” (99)

“I know you mean well, but that doesn’t make it any easier to listen to you.” (117)

it could all be so simple, but we’d all rather make it hard. loving who is like a battle? and we all end up with scars….

here’s another of the “loser meets ideal girl who stands up for herself and eventually loser comes around to seeing that he needs to stop being a loser and gets the ideal girl” chronicles of joe tropper. i mean, it’s an irresistible story because it’s what we’ve all been conditioned to want, right? our expectations have been tempered and lowered so much that we are now aiming to settle for a loser to just see us for the great human we are, and simply acknowledge that so we can get married and live happily ever after. (sigh).

“I had the advantage of being the lesser of two assholes. And my parents thought I’d never amount to anything.” (28)

“She’s still beautiful, but now it’s the kind of beauty that comes with a barbed wire fence around it.” (55)

“She was thirty-six, divorced, and a single mother. I was twenty-five and still waiting for something to happen to me.” (60)

“Sometimes the only truth people can handle is the one they woke up with that morning. And this morning, like every morning, I woke up with my pain. So do me a favor and don’t fuck with it.” (78)

“When dogs meet, they sniff each other’s asses. When women meet, they check each other out to determine who is prettier. When men meet, the paramount question is who would kick whose ass in a fight…” (150)

“This is what inevitably happens when Jim and I are forced to approximate cordiality. Jim hates me because he takes it personally that Hailey loved me, even though that happened after they were through, and I take it personally that Jim cheated on Hailey, even though it happened long before I was in the picture. The chronology should nullify or at least temper our instinctive hostility, but we have penises, Jim and I, and so rationality is not really an option.” (153)

“I am appealingly damaged: young, slim, sad, and beautiful.” (221)

the stuff that romcoms are made of. but there’s nothing really wrong with that, is there? what’s the point of life if you can’t escape from it for second and laugh about it?


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