against love-laura kipnis (still)

“We live in sexually interesting times, meaning a culture which manages to be simultaneously hypersexualized and to retain its Puritan underpinnings, in precisely equal proportions.” (11)

“This is not just a recent national dilemma, it’s a longstanding problem. If marriages can’t be dissolved, how can the illusion of consensual democracy be maintained? As Nancy Cott points out, that would be sovereignty, not democracy. But if they are dissolvable, everything they symbolize is up for grabs too. We do live in a nation founded on a Declaration of Independence, after all-indeed, on a collective divorce, our rather stormy one from Britain.” (175)

“Hence the evolution of flirting, a way of being suspended between having and not having, and keeping possibilities open. Being suspended between consent and refusal is the path to freedom, says Simmel; any decision brings flirtation to an end.” (200)

“Perhaps a secular society needed another metaphysical entity to subjugate itself to after the death of God, and love was available for the job. But isn’t it a little depressing to think we’re somehow incapable of inventing forms of emotional life based on anything other than subjugation?” (94)

“Though as Freud points out, desire and disgust /are/only a hair away from each other-or rather, only as far away as the sex organs from the elimination function. Yes, in the Freudian view, sexual disgust is the anatomical destiny we’re forever staving off in the sphere of love, and too bad for us, less and less successfully as the romance fades-or perhaps that’s why it does.” (124)

“*It remains to be seen whether feminism’s greatest accomplishment was the liberation of women or whether it was redistributing feminine submission more equally between the genders: this question will hover in the background of our discussion. Note that gender equality isn’t necessarily synonymous with greater freedom; it can simply mean equality in submission.” (16)

“Not to mention the regression, because, after all, you’ve chosen your parent (or their opposite), or worse, you’ve become your parent, tormenting (or withdrawing from) the mate as the same-or-opposite-sex parent once did, replaying scenes you were once subjected to yourself as a hapless child-or some other variety of family repetition that will keep those therapists guessing for years.” (35)

from philosophy to history, religion and the law-i can’t gush enough about how laura kipnis has worked to prove her point through multiple examples across the systems that affect our lives. i like that she keeps toes in every pool because i believe that life is about never getting off the fences.

there’s beauty and enlightenment in the middles.

“all i hear is whomp whomp”

i heart syd the kid. i especially heart that the above lyric came wafting out at me last night.


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