“Of course, our mother had taught us all how to start over, to land on our feet, and to make the best of any circumstance.” (276)
“Luckily, I never blacked out; unluckily, this meant I usually remembered much of the night.” (234)
“For me, loneliness comes from a sense of missing something. I never miss anything when I’m alone.” (281)
i love this meditation on appetites, and all the passages that i have pulled seem to centre around being empty and full, and all the ways they may not look exactly like we would expect. present/absent, love/oblivion, and attraction/repulsion also strongly figure in my focus in life and this honest and moving collection of experience and reflection (there’s another one).
“As a budding hermit, I used these overnights as an excuse to read whatever books my friends had that I didn’t, sidling away from my hostess to read her books as fast as I could before she noticed I was missing.” (57)
“Consequently, I got my fair share of complaints, which I accepted cheerfully: I wasn’t being paid, I was volunteering out of the goodness of my heart and because I had absolutely nowhere else to go right now, so they could either teach me to make better soup of shut up.” (179-80)
“She wrote back with superior condescension, telling me I was blind and lost and sinful, and that she had found the true path. She capitalized words that had no business being capitalized. Her diction became Germanic and unfamiliar. I wrote back and tried to argue and reason with her, but she had finally won our battle: the fanatical, righteous believer always vanquishes the skeptic.” (207)
i am in awe of women who admit to falling in love as many times as we have to get up or eat-i’m all in favour of normalizing love and seeing it among other vital functions, because it deserves to be seen as such. we have to prepare for love, welcome love, cherish love, and let it go-just as we do sleep, food, water, and clothing. love is an essential force and service.
i also identify with FOMO when it comes to books, and finding more comfort in an inner world than a sleepover world-but i was never allowed to sleep over in the first place. but that’s more about control, since most of the tampering with that (young) women encounter is by relatives and known people, and i got radio silence when i told my father about such tamperings that had occurred by family members. but stranger danger-that’s still the one. (sigh).
“To taste fully is to live fully. And to live fully is to be awake and responsive to complexities and truths-good and terrible, overwhelming and miniscule. To eat passionately is to allow the world in; there can be no hiding or sublimation when you’re chewing a mouthful of food so good it makes you swoon.” (3)