family trouble-edited by joy castro

“I am not criticizing a lack of imagination in the good, good people who attend literary readings.” (17, Chewing Band-Aids, Jill Christman)

i am, boo.

i know, i can a hatin’ ass hater sometimes.

and the point is that people are reading and showing up for authors and readers, right?

i just gotta be extra with my expectations for people to be original and better and ask engaging questions because that is the way to show a writer that you respect her time and energy and work and that having an original question means that you were inspired (maybe) to have an original thought, or at the very least-you have something better than the same old same old questions that everyone ever asks and hears.

but life isn’t like that-we have to keep going through the same things over and over until someone comes up with something different, and even that is not original. we don’t have that many moves as humans. there are only 12 notes. but damn isn’t it great when someone comes up with something fresh?

it’s possible. it’s necessary. and it’s yours to choose. every single moment.

i got to the end of my podcasts yesterday-i know. i mean, most of them will refresh soon, but i got to zero. because i blew through a lot of the philly free library podcasts in short succession, i noticed one gentleman who shows up to ask questions on the regular-his voice is distinct, but his agenda is more recognizeable.

i don’t know if they just can’t ban him or kick him out, but everyone always seems stressed that he always makes his way to the microphone, and his questions are always long and more statement than question followed by awkward silence.

if nothing else, this dedication to his cause, combined with the unintentional record of his attendance broadcast to millions in the podcastophere is a legacy that that guy has that others do not.

does he deserve it?

i don’t know. i don’t know who’s qualified to decide what legacy anyone deserves, but it’s something.

and that’s what’s interesting about this collections of musings of people who have had (to) fight their own families for their parts of their stories. once again, this came off the branch of the meghan daum tree, as one of the contributors of the selfish writers compilation also shows up here.

albums on repeat (that i wish were longer): wayne tennant-songs in a minor key, gabriel teodros-lentil soup ep
album that i’m keeping because it’s signed to me: jeff spec-rhythm and blues (homie hella sounding like jay on the last few tracks, and it’s always nice to hear ishkan‘s voice)
album that i almost gave up because of the misogyny: blackstreet (but the harmonies tho, damn!)

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