the corner (formerly known as speaker’s)

“we’re the highest rated comedy club on yelp”

i got free passes to this place outside of the sony centre during jfl 42. i suggested going last weekend to a coworker, and i was glad that she decided to postpone so i could go home and spend thanksgiving eating beef stew out of my slow cooker and napping hard. out of the blue, she asked if wanted to go tonight, and i decided to take her up on it, even though we had to pay because it’s the weekend, and the passes aren’t valid.

i got excited for a moment because the comics were hustling on the corner and i thought we were in, but avril lavigne sold us short, as he didn’t tell us that there was cover, and it was a bit surprising to be in a spot that is smaller than my apartment. but it’s the former speaker’s corner.

the real comedy was seeing a dood that i’ve been ducking since that uncomfortable dinner/punishment, on a date. i thought i was safe because there was a large gentleman who seemed to have walked in from the war, just mumbling and talking about opium and sparked his lighter. it was great because he was built like a refrigerator and was actually funnier than some of the comics, but he disappeared midway through and buddy made me.

it was super awkward, as he said “here here” very loudly to the comic who claimed that living in toronto was all about drinking craft beer and questioning his sexuality. and when that same comic asked him and his date if they were dating or fucking and he said loudly, “we don’t know!” though his eyebrows raised when she raised her hand when another comic asked if anyone had had a brazilian-i bet that’s going to be a fun night.

especially when i tried to duck away (bigups to my boy brian for hooking up the oversized deadstock australian vintage camo parka) though he grabbed me, and when he actually ran after me yelling my government name after that only to make weird small talk and threatening promises to call me-i’m really starting to think that he’s autistic or super clueless to how that looks to the poor young lady you’re on a date with.

most of the comics were ok, except the one who clearly didn’t write any jokes so he decided to punch down and repeat 900,000 times that he wished he could grab women by the pussy. shoutout to the one guy in the audience who decided to tell him he was wrong, and to me for getting more laughs than him by saying, “this is really funny and totally landing. i think you should fucking say it again”.

all in all-i don’t think i will ever go there again. or at least i won’t be in a rush.

but it was a crucial part of my day of odd coincidences, a lapis lazuli, indigo, pears, and aligning flows.

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