“we go through episodes too, like attack of the clones”
i’ve been slacking for a few days on this blog (and on not hitting snooze on the alarm).
i didn’t stay up last night, i went to be hope-full because i had hosted a lovely dinner party and made delicious food. i fabric curled my hair (and it turned out dope). i woke up feeling blessed and ready to get up and blog about book junkets and colson whitehead and get ready to bookend my day with yoga.
i had a sinking feeling last night, when things were so very close…and couldn’t help but remember how i felt eight years ago. we kept hearing the whole time that it was impossible. but as the results came in (no recount), we were still at sablo, and i felt an elation that i have never known.
i’m pretty sure that this is what trump supporters thought-that same feeling of the impossible-that reality could possibly swing in a way that reflects your reality even just a little bit. and that was what signalled that it would happen-the glimmer of hope (for some) that it could. that’s all it takes. and really-this is about as american as it can get.
let me just dial it back a second to university. my roommate somehow got a hold of a hustler magazine, and there were these ridiculous poses of women wearing clear heals, taking a lunge position to “pee” on the floor-i say that because the liquid was very yellow and must’ve needed to be enhanced (or dehydrated) to show up in a picture. we were just puzzled, and with our first year women’s studies analysis we came up with this: the further we get in real life, they have to come up with a way to be more demeaning to us in the imaginary one.
and that’s how it is. for anyone who doesn’t believe in the underlying patriarchy (somehow)-here is your proof. it’s also the convenient shirk for every dood who feels the same way and thus now has an outlet-you love trump because trump gets to say all the things you want to, but would be shunned as a monster for saying. he’s your reason to confirm and not express your misogyny.
because let’s face it-if hillary (and why the fuck have we been only using her first name all this time?!) was really going to win, y’all would’ve elected her to head the party before obama, you know that. way back when you had that convenient race of safe black man vs. ballbusting white woman. but you were scared of hillary in a way that you didn’t know to be scared of obama-if hillary would’ve been running against al sharpton (or with al sharpton as a running mate), we would’ve had a very different history.
but i blame your racism there. and i blame your racism now. that little experiment has taken you places you weren’t ready to go-questioning the size of your sodas and having your kids eat junk food (pour out a lil’ liquor for michelle‘s organic garden on the lawn), gay marriage is legal, and you don’t know where the fuck to go to the washroom.
(but you elect a man who wants to fuck his own daughter, thinks women should be grabbed by the pussy, and thinks running a company is the same thing as running the country).
but i see possibility here. this year has brought the kinds of tragedy that can only bring change. so perhaps this (and brexit) means that the world that revolves around america will finally shift on its axis and we can finally imagine a world in which other countries get a voice because we’ll just drown out the clown.
i didn’t think it would happen in my lifetime.
because just like the momentary elation that i felt when the spurs won the championship and i felt like the nba wasn’t rigged for the first time, the cavs had to come back to win it-historically, and so the historical win of history has swung back.
but it will also swing forward. and as all the great musical legends and powerhouses are dying, this new reality will (continue) to keep birthing the amazing musical powerhouses that will be remembered as we go forth.
i will just see y’all when you come touring, because i’m not trying to go south. and i may extend my stay in toronto to four more years now. just to see.
my prediction for 2020 is that it will be a half-life pendulum swing back, as kanye will be further inspired (by the past two) to run, and michelle (the logical candidate) will have to fight him, and it will be a win that sets everyone further back (once again) because it will allow the bat pats for “progressiveness” to be more prolific and undeserved.
because dreams can come true.
and apparently, so can nightmares.
and my first instinct was to jump right to 2020-whose vision in this case is hindsight and the future because we’re trying to gloss over the present.
just to get by….