metrotextual-may 2015

i feel like there’s a point in all of my attempted records where things get a bit murky, and i have hit that point here. my may 2015 file is full of books dated with different months, so i think this means that i didn’t record the exact date that i read them, but i recorded the dates that i blogged them, when i was still doing that. my apologies to kathryn kiutenbrouwer for the interview i never wrote up from our talk about all of the broken things, i don’t think i was actually ready to confront my feelings about talking to you about the book you wrote about vietnamese-canadian identity.

the books:

1) All of the Broken Things-Kathryn Kiutenbrouwer
2) Exposing Myself-Geraldo Rivera
3) From the Memoirs of a Non-Enemy Combatant-Alex Gilvarry
4) Blackballed: The Black Vote and US Democracy-Darryl Pinckney
5) After Artest-The NBA and the Assault on Blackness-David J. Leonard

these were all very big books, literally and literally. one of them prompted me to contact a former canadian talk show host to ask if he’s ever interviewed geraldo (he had not). one of these i got from the philly free library podcast, my longtime fave.

here are some quotes:

“The effort to exclude under-20 ballers from the NBA, while also motivated by owners not wanting to pay first-round dollars to players who might take years to develop and college programs wanting to profit from the unpaid labor of America’s top ballers, reflects a desire to push America’s best players into attending college so they can join the league having been already ‘seasoned’ and ‘domesticated’.” (102)

“Barbara used to tell me that people like us would always carry the double-edged sword of celebrity: greater access to sources, but resentment from rivals and colleagues. Don’t let it affect your work, she counselled. On some stories, especially in remote places, we will often cause a bigger fuss than the story itself. Don’t worry about it. Just concentrate on doing better than anyone else.” (307)

“There were more rats running around the emergency room than hospital staff. The place would have been a scandal in Addis Ababa, or Bombay, but it was quietly tolerated in the urban wasteland of the South Bronx.” (72)

“What is it that they say? Home is where you hang yourself.” (5)

“Obama’s reelection stimulated concern in some quarters about the price black Americans were paying for a black president.” (39)

“We rented a boat, and I rowed us to a remote corner of the reservoir. The sun baked down hot. I took off my shirt, and we embraced. Right there, the estranged first lady of Canada leant new meaning to the term head of state.” (333)

“It was the shame Teacher conveyed, by trying to fix things. He wanted to shout that these things were just broken. He wanted her to understand about the pride of broken things.” (161)

“And you won’t hear any of us called prisoners either. That’s forbidden too. We are detainees. It is all very clever on their part. Because we are not called prisoners, they don’t have to charge us with a crime.” (206)

five words: politricks, notoriety, truth, advice, reality

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metrotextual-may 2017

here are the books i read this month a year ago:

1) milk and honey-rupi kaur-may 3
2) I Have the Right to Destroy Myself-Young-Ha Kim-may 5
3) Listening to Grasshoppers-Arundhati Roy-may 10
4) Things that Can and Cannot Be Said-Arundhati Roy and John Cusack-may 11
5) Long Shot-Craig Hodges with Rory Fanning-may 14th
6) The Art of a Beautiful Game-Chris Ballard-may 16
7) Hungry Heart-Jennifer Weiner-may 22
8) Do I Have to Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?-Jordan and Margaret Paul, Ph.D.-may 25
9) The Name Therapist-Duana Taha-may 27

some pull quotes:

“We all want freedom and we all want intimacy-at the same time.” (19)

“Failure to understand a player’s psyche is a flaw Ravin sees in the disciplinarian style of some coaches. Rather than empowering a player, they strip him of his authority.” (158)

“…being a good writer and a good reporter are far from the same thing. A writer can be invisible, but a reporter has to be both present and persistent, showing up with a notebook or asking questions over the phone.” (130)

“In a lot of ways, I relied on my education to maintain my edge with Jordan. I knew he didn’t know shit about Black history. No matter how much people praised Jordan, no matter how many awards he won, no matter how much money he had, he didn’t have the thing I held most dear: an education in the struggle of our people. This gave me confidence on the court and in the locker room with him.” (99)

“The trend of skipping grades stopped once educators realized that they were creating a generation of social cripples.” (25)

“R.Kelly went on to do great and horrible things. Carlita and I were both proud to say we played a part in his musical success. The fact that he cheated with my wife , in my house, after all I did for him, still haunts me from time to time.” (83-4)

“Can you really bomb feminism into a country?” (22)

“Most people take their first date to a movie, but not me; I take my first dates to hear the minister Louis Farrakhan speak.” (63)

“History is really a study of the future, not the past.” (23)

“It’s easy to have sex when you can’t really communicate.” (66)

“People who don’t know how to summarize have no dignity.” (6)

wow. so i guess we don’t really ever change who we are. (as we shouldn’t). thanks to these writers/ballers for their work.

this metrotextual month (closing tabs)-mays

“you lack discipline. it’s the paralysis of capacity.”

there’s a stunning honestly that comes from someone who loves you, and is mad that you can’t love them back in the way that they want you to. (sigh). i suppose we are complicated beings, ever waddling between seeking attention/affection and control over how that shows up.

so, i accept this and am attempting to do something(s).

here are the books that i read this month:

1) Her Body and Other Parties-Carmen Maria Machado May 2nd
2) The Hate You Give-Angie Thomas-May 6th
3) Sex Object-Jessica Valenti-May 7th
4) The Clasp-Sloane Crosley-May 15th
5) Don’t Let the Lipstick Fool You-Lisa Leslie-May 17th
6) New People-Danzy Senna-May 20th
7) Halfrocentric-Jewels Smith-May 21
8) Beautiful You-Chuck Palahniuk-May 23
9) We Gon’ Be Alright-Jeff Chang-May 30

here are some pull quotes from the above:

“If a coach is not strong, consistent, and in control, the team will eventually fall apart.” (100)

“The best sex she ever had was with a white guy she despised and fantasized about bludgeoning to death with an African statuette.” (185)

“Victimhood doesn’t need to be an identity, but it is a product of facts.” (12)

“Hers is a war cry. She must have learned it at that Beijing orphanage. The survivors cry the loudest.” (223)

“You are entitled to us but we’re not even allowed to call you what you are.” (135)

“I am always surprised at the poetry with which boys can describe boning.” (129)

“She has decided all university campuses are alike-the sense of possibility and stasis. She thinks this too: all graduate students, if you look closely enough, exude the same aura of privilege and poverty.” (5)

thank you to these authors for their brilliance. five adjectives to describe where my mind was at this month? go:

un/natural cycling

i just tried to lie down because it was four-thirty-something and i have been crying for hours, and it turns out that there is a top limit of clips that i can watch of lebron becoming the GOAT (again).

what season is this? spring? summer? are the birds confused or ecstatic? what is the reason that they are yelling at the top of their lungs at this time? are they organizing? are they catching up? do they know that we don’t have that much time left? are they really free, or are they just in the sky? i mean, they’re definitely not in the sky right now, they are all in these trees, loud as fuck.

have you ever noticed that when you cry lying down, your tears pool in your ears? since equilibrium happens in there, is it actually possible to drown yourself in sorrow?

either way, i’m up and trying this again because i am not tired, even though i am exhausted. or maybe i am not exhausted, even though i am tired. i’ve never been sure where one stops and the other begins.

i put the itunes on shuffle and three songs in, have just been reminded that i haven’t removed kanye from my ipod yet. we haven’t had the chance to debate whether or not we are removing kanye from our ipods yet. because it’s “lost in the world”, i’m not skipping the track. nope-because it’s “lost in the world”, i’m skipping it. hold on.

(“consideration”-rihanna feat. sza)

when i first met you as a fresh-faced music enthusiast, your locks were swinging proudly as you bragged that you became a woman at a lauryn hill concert. i have always wished that was my story.

(“speechless”-beyonce)

i had to tell my single dad that i got my period when i was eleven and he gave me the free samples that came in the mail, immediately called my uncle, and gave me five dollars to ask my sixth grade teacher to buy me “what the girls were using these days”. he did the best he thought he could.

(“needed me”-rihanna)

it’s been twenty years since miseducation and it’s hard to get excited for a reunion when you no longer recognize anyone. i’m there in a heartbeat if there’s even a little chance of original arrangements, so eager that i’m satisfied with the four bars of ex-factor that skratch bastid played on saturday, and i like “nice for what” as much as anyone, but that song is not meant to be a jock jam.

(“kick your game”-TLC)

i heard the hurt in your voice when you rejected the comfort that people offered you at the funeral when they told you that it was their time. “no. it. wasn’t.” i’ve never said that about anyone from that point on.

(“caint use my phone”-badu)

yesterday, my sistar said that about you, and i said, “well….”

she knows the tattoo artist that was supposed to do your chest piece. of course she does, our communities are strong, connected, beauty-full and resistant as fuck.

i heard the news from your ex, who had heard from your other ex-the one that i had a crush on first, for the record, and i introduced you to. nobody ever remembers that part, but i’m not really mad about it, and now is not the time to be petty.

(“what they do”-the roots)

or maybe neither of you took me seriously because you’d seen me cry over that professor, though you never questioned me when i professed my love for him, or his for me-ok, maybe one of you did. you just laughed when i compared him to that big, drooling cat that came with your sublet in mile end, the one we wrote your dissertation in, the one you introduced me to sweet tea in, the one we lay around montrealing and discussing so much music in. i don’t think we ever talked about how he went on to offer a whole course in kanye when it was i who loved him, i never got to tell you that i felt a way about that.

(“skit #4”-kanye west i have to leave it because it’s the “there’s an imposter among us” skit)

i was on the subway when i got the text, on a slow crawl from warden to kennedy.

(“gold digger”-kanye and jamie foxx-fuck fuck fuckity fuck. skipping.)

(“the old prince still lives at home”-shad)

aside: for someone who came from the midwestern united states, born almost in the ’90s, i was very impressed with your knowledge and gusto for canadian hip hop so this is actually getting kind of eerie.

basically, i had too much time to imagine every possible scenario-in this present climate in your country, in your body, it could’ve been any number of things.

(“blood on the leaves”-kanye west fuckity fuck fuck i cannot skip this one.)

but the truth was absolutely not anywhere in the realm of any possibility that i could have imagined. and that’s how you always were-out of this world. honestly, homie, where did you come from? how were you so full of joy, life, experience, curiosity, wisdom, wonder, and how did you have a renewable source for so much more?

even when you were low, and i know you were. you always lived in such an exemplary way. and so you the ending matches the middle that we didn’t know was the middle. your social media accounts are already fading, but i have your letters and know your hand. i love your pictures and that you printed and mailed them to me. i just looked up at your holiday card now and my eyes are misty again.

(“southside”-common and kanye ok, so you trying to have this discussion, huh?)

the thing is, i didn’t realize that i put up so many of your pictures. i was also on my way to resume the library tour with the book you gifted me with as my guidebook when i learned. i was wearing my sue bird jersey. i was reading the first chuck palahniuk book i had read in years. everything was you and pndubs.

i was numb for 48, but this morning on the train uptown, the tears came forth. of course. you always supported metrotextual, you always saw me and my little acts of processing. remember that time my letter got lost because it went to jamaica jamaica and not jamaica plain, boston? and when you wrote back with a giant box filled with all of my favourite snacks from trader joe’s? there was no return address but i knew immediately that it was you. how the fuck did you remember my favourite snacks from trader joe’s? we never went to no trader joe’s.

(“compton”-kendrick feat. dre)

do you remember our babies that last year we were both in montreal? how you couldn’t just let keyanna cry so you ran to pick her up thirteen seconds after she started? i had her under less than ideal circumstances, and you helped me keep her safe. the twins are ten now, and look so much like their parents, i got a picture last year and meant to send it to you, did i send it to you? i never saw a picture of your new twins, but we did talk about all of the twins that seemed to find us.

(“everything i am”-kanye-sigh, i give up)

2016. it had been a minute. washrooms were a hot topic at that time. you were so relieved to be away from it while you were here. i picked you up and we ate so many seafoods with our hands, and you were there when i kicked my newly finished verse to my favourite poet. you floored me by remembering how i prefer to go through revolving doors-everyone in the same door, bobbing like muppets. i cannot remember a single revolving door in montrill so i don’t know how you even knew that, let alone how you remembered it 9 years later….

(“fireworks”-drake feat. alicia keys)

we went to the conference finals that year. you were here for game 7 vs. indiana, when i cried because we made it out of the first round for the first time since forever. you were still here when kyle hit that halfcourt shot to tie the game and i almost puked in hurricane’s, where they’d already switched some of the screens to the jays’ game because toronto sports fans are like that- hashtag,trust issues.

(“hola’ hovito”-jay-z)

you were there when i went “home” to vancouver before i moved here, back when i was still grasping at that idea of “closure”, when i cut off all my hair and was performing a lot. i was processing and you were in love, travelling to the yukon and shit because, that’s what you did, naturally.

(“the healer”-badu)

i didn’t know that i walked fast until you told me when i last saw you. i don’t think i ever noticed that before. did i walk slower in montreal? probably. i don’t recall you having a problem keeping up.

well, you’re ahead of me now, dear friend. i feel that in a lot of ways, you always have been. lightyears ahead, flying past on your bike. i hope the wind on your face brought you freedom and peace.

i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you.

thank you for loving me and making sure that i felt it.

(“desperado”-rihanna)

coach wooden and me-kareem abdul-jabbar

“you like brazilian music?”

ok so, was this commonly known? i’ve read a concentration of kareem abdul-jabbar‘s books lately, and this is the first one of the bunch that he hasn’t written with a cowriter. i suppose that makes sense, as it is the most personal. the inside jackets are proof of how prolific he’s been (lately, and ever), i feel like this one must have been released within months of writings on the wall. i learn something every time that i read one of his books, and this time, the most surprising thing was when he just tries to casually drop the detail “i had just started training with bruce lee“. the most basic google search yielded this fascinating (and at times homoerotic) clip with a curious soundtrack that i won’t ever be able to unsee.

long relationships always make me cry because they are proof that people can and do choose to stick around and work things out. intentional ones infinitely more so for the work and hurt (and triumph) of these reasons.

***i am feeling the urge to interject my continued feeling that vince carter should retire here because the jersey pictures have already surfaced, and i don’t remember which basketball book it was that i learned that the first step to trading a player is to leak it in the press and see how people receive it, but i did read that, and the response has been great. i’m sad that it didn’t happen by the deadline, i mean, bruno for vc should’ve been a good trade? but they (cleveland and the nba) must have known that veteran leadership and all of they symbolism would’ve pushed this current team towards at least the nba finals…so….***

i am interested in coach books because i am inspired by people who do right because it’s the right thing to do (and sports in general because it is a secular form of witness/worship). respecting, influencing and teaching people is thankless work that may never pay big dividends because it requires those people to also do the work. it may come years later, and in strange ways, as kareem accounts many times in this book (and his others).

here are the highlights as i have pulled them:

“Being good is the payoff, athletically and spiritually. That’s why he didn’t care for sports movies in which the underdog team or player learns the hard way that winning isn’t everything, but then they go on to win at the end.” (8)

bad news bears. it’s also the reason that i dislike the fact that awards for individual merit often outshine team play (i will never get over russell westbrook‘s kick in the face of an MVP award).

“His players would graduate with grades that would give them career opportunities beyond sports. He was worried about our long-term happiness, not our win-loss record.” (23)

no kidding.

“Both of us spoke fluent basketball, a language free of emotion. He loved that shot and saw in it possibilities I hadn’t imagined.” (106)

(sky hook).

“There’s very little creativity in racism.” (133)

still.

“I tried to make the point that true patriotism is about acknowledging problems and, rather than running away from them, joining together to fix them.” (142)

amen.

“It was jazz as religion: everyone playing the same song, but adapting, improvising, harmonizing until we produced beautiful music together.” (217)

this was a really interesting point-no set plays, just lots of practice. i basically told some teenagers the same thing when i was working at the music school, “don’t be scurred, just be pre-purred”. i am almost certain that this is at least part of what’s been happening in san antonio all this time.

the other night, at the rather lacklustre celtics game, we honoured bill russell for black history month as he should be honoured and one of the images on the big screen was obama awarding him with the same award that he awarded kareem with to start this book, the same one that bush (jr) awarded to coach wooden and i got to thinking about whom, if anyone, this sitting guy will honour, since he doesn’t seem to have much regard for or interest in history or the future, and my i am truly sad that he doesn’t know the power of reading.

gratitude-the jar (2017)

it’s that time once again! here’s the jar:

movies:

another great year of big screen love, laughs, and a bechdel-approved possible future. shoutout to ms. ava duvernay for her hundred million dollar budget, i’m blessed to have seen her $200,000 masterpiece. although i only have four stubs for girls trip, i saw it 7 times in total, which is another first. on a related note, i also saw set it off, which i thought i had seen, but turns out i only had the soundtrack-it was the golden era of soundtracks! i also experienced my first drunk feminist films with obsessed, a film that is just as terrible now as when it first came out. the rainbow cinemas were also bought by imagine, so my bingo card, full but not honoured (whomp whomp) is also in the jar. i miss the mural.

in no particular order:

girls trip, girls trip, girls trip, girls trip, girls trip* (found it), snatched, baby driver, get out, table 19, rough night, hidden figures, 3D lego batman, fist fight, migrant dreams, dying laughing, the big sick, a bad mom’s christmas, three billboards outside ebbing, missouri, love, sex and eating the bones, middle of nowhere, set it off, rude, annie (2014), neruda, 9th floor, the hitman’s bodyguard

shows:

i continue to be floored by local talent, and be inspired by my s/heros:

blocko (EVELYN CHAMPAGNE KING), foundations (ellen bryant, desiire, abscvnd), allie, lal presents the forest, selah genesis/lady parul/adria kain, kung fu kendrick lamar, bruno mars, nas and miz lauryn hill, kd lang (ingenue 25), sean paul/brandy/ginuwine, manifesTO (the internet, jidenna, isaiah rashad, majid jordan-all the local acts i came to see went on very very early), secret drake/dvsn/majid/that kid that’s not quite on beat, nomadic massive, vox sambu, ali wong, chris rock, sound of the beast, flowers while we’re living, the youth/elders project, rhubarb festival (38), shades of our sisters, walking with our sisters, colors presents r&b only (before-free lipstick with zahra and steak and lobster, after-P&L, nice leans and arms, 2 TERRIBLE HICKEYS “sigh. giving up on men. but their arms tho”), salomon and kurt (november), dark & stormy (impromptu decision to perform), jen kirkman, nasty fantasy: a janet jackson vs. mariah carey burlesque tribute, chance the rapper, fredy v. album release, fredy v. at the night owl, anh phung’s tullstars, kid fury’s furious thoughts, baduizm-a tribute, soaring in liquid skies, funk frequency, DATU

reading and writing:

-my wonder-full bday cards-38 was a trying one, and i’m glad that i commissioned my flossy posse to be by my side
-a real estate note from lindsay when i woke up after apple picking and a lamb coma-she was taking rusty for a walk and had taken laxatives
-two future letters to my father and two to myself (put back into the jar, i’m not ready to open them yet)
-a polaroid of sj‘s book club books from at least 2010 (young-ha kim’s black flower, marie n’diaye’s three strong women, and rahul bhattacharya’s the sly company of people who care) i read all of these this year
-latre chicken’s birth announcement card
the love lettering project’s parkdale writing workshop (8 weeks of magic at the parkdale public library)-i’m so great-full to have participated in this
-three love letters from the puppy (all the best to you on your journey)
-5/8 of brah brah’s reading challenge from last year: a book that may require a dictionary for some of the words-jonathan franzen’s purity (feb 20, 2017), a published work written by a person you know-kenji tokawa’s “why you don’t have to choose a white boy name to be a man in this world” from gender outlaws, the next generation (jan 14, 2017), a book that endeavours to teach you a new skill-designing your life by bill burnett & dave evans (october 16, 2017), a book that bears your name-sticks angelica…folk hero by michael deforge (may 16, 2017), bonus: mention in duana taha’s the name therapist, your host’s book when you are a guest from out of town-rupi kaur’s milk and honey from julay‘s shelf when fam went to costa rica and i took vacation to watch the babies
pam picked up my mary j. blige cd and slipped a sticker in it
pam hid my christmas card in my kareem abdul jabbar books
-i booked a massage as a pick me up, and when i got there, jane told me that she pre-ordered shine like a diamond for me, “for all the times you’ve come in here and lifted me up”-my note on the print out is: “i was moved to tears. the irregular cells are back, but we will get them.”
-diasporic intimacies launch (yea to the babes and other friends that are in this anthology)
-71 books read

the basketballs:

-the 2016-17 printed schedule with notes: saturday, december 3rd’s win against the hawks (savage), my beginning of the season’s plan to fly to chicago for the valentine’s day game, but then the election happened and my amendment of “nope. travel ban my loved ones and i travel ban you”, playoff summary: beat bucks in 6, swept by the cavs-whomp whomp
-notes on my UP express tickets (one waxing very verbose about magnetic calendar night) and all the 50/50s that i did not win (and hence do not yet have the $130 crew neck that i want)
-my first playoff game (that first loss to the bucks)-i decided to go last minute and sat in the sprite zone, i still celebrated post-game with an alleyway makeout session and priscilla’s 38th bday at the parkdale drink (tunes by sweet touch)
-contraband food, an official season ticket holder thrupple, and more upgrades from dave (section 112, where the playas dwell!)
-march 29 vs. the hornets with zahra, jan 10 vs. the celtics (with evan), jan 24 vs. the spurs, jan 29 vs the magic (biyombo’s return), feb 6 vs. the clippers, dec 17 vs. the kings (with maya), oct 21 vs. the 76ers (with maya), dec 29 vs. the hawks (with maya), mar 13 vs. the mavericks (with cj), nov 5 vs. the wizards (with mikey), pre-season vs. detroit (with mikey), april 7 vs. the heat (last game of the season with maya), dec 5 vs. the suns (with kevin) and oct 19 vs the bulls (home opener with maya), jan 13 vs. the nets (with bryan)

the artifacts:

-memorable scattergories: with maya on thanksgiving when we were under the influence of ganja milk, with cj and evan with pizza, christmas morning with lindsay and justin
-tags from my first outfit by lustre design
-unicorn building instructions
-the first baby bootie that i ever knit (one of my resolutions last year was to knit something other than a scarf, i did booties, hats, a cowl, and am working on a blanket now)
-turquoise mardi gras beads from a little girl i met on crazy mouse on that one great date i went on with mary so many glasses (who never called me again)
-a 33 pieces of cheese log completed (at chfa 2016) that made it in when i cleaned out my filing cabinet in the mold hole
-my keys to 2995 dundas (aka the mold hole) farewell to my junction home of the last 7 years
-bejewled ceramic red bottom charm that i found two years ago but kept hanging on the edge of the jar for this year as well-i am retiring it this year because of the closed circle with the red bootie
-the raptors lanyard given to me by michelle years ago, it broke this year
coy kuya‘s setlist (my dream dj spinning erykah, ivana santilli, evelyn champagne king, bilal, grove theory, quincy jones, new edition, bobby brown and janet-swoon)
-a $46.81 stamp receipt with the note “i work for postage” across the top. another year of writing and posting at toronto’s first post office, including the knowledge of postcrossing.com (to date 56 sent, 55 received) i also bested this amount with an $86.15 receipt for stamps last month that should last me some time
-a stunna shades patch “to kanye from HOV” found june 7th
-my JFL master level badge (what an amazing festival that keeps getting better and better)
-a pack of yo! mtv raps trading cards (from annick) featuring the illustrious digital underground, heavy d. and the boyz, young mc and krs-one
-wendy and peter’s wedding matches from may 28th, 1983
-my UofT badge for boundless-TO queer history film series (thanks, FZV!)
-my new business card
-a pink sparkly birthday candle
-last christmas’ candy canes from the lovebirds downstairs-they hung on the door for most of this year
-my brendan shanahan trading card from the night we saw KD win a championship at dock ellis
-the jacek chocolate couture catalogue that maya and mama maya got for me on their trip west-we ate them at the baked potato block party on the first day of autumn that brought the first summer weather (40 degrees!)-we ate them before they melted and headed to kensington for pedestrian sunday
revamped business card-i’m so glad i got to know katherine better this year, from the coffee shop to the parkdale flea
-a planetarium ticket that i found in julay’s jean shorts
-one of my stm tickets from this year’s time in the ‘trill
-the sloane heavenly cream tea packet from vegan supper club
-my torn coffee bingo card from the abbott-my local shop that has cinnamon and cloves on the bar-yum
-a “breathalyze me” napkin from wendi‘s collection
-my chequebook log-it took until june 11, 2017 (11 years) to use 200 cheques. i couldn’t write my september 2018 rent cheque, so maybe that’s when i will move? or switch to the bank account that includes e-transfers?
-love, mom ❤ the brown bag that was my rosehound surprise sack
-“i get to choose what family means to me” my first affirmation coloured from this year’s $5 gift exchange with cj after last night’s bruha ceremonies
-“let’s avocuddle” card to commemorate walking the OOAK show with lindsay this year
fredy v.‘s digital download code for #ItTakesAVillage
-one teeny postcard of godzilla and the empire state building (xmas 2016 gift from the el-hadi russells), the rest went into cj’s bday gift that i pre-read
-a sweet stocking stuffers gift tag for this year’s $5 gift exchange
-a tag from the dream catcher that i bought from latre
-THE LEGS (these aren’t not the legs you’re looking for)-evan makes jokes and signs, and jokes on signs
-the note card on my 7-year gift from the store (a money tree), this arrived on neron‘s 30th bday (his last in parkdale before he moved to brampton this year with the birth of his son)-it’s the end of an era of not seeing him or his mom any more on the street, he got picked up by an old asian lady at the shwarma shop, it was amazing. later-i saw kendrick lamar
rokcork business card-one of my favourite local businesses, this year i got a backpack and a baseball cap to go along with the two pairs of shoes that i got last year
-my xmas 2017 present from the gazelles, an ali wong “lie down” pillowcase
-a pack of juicy fruit gum (the official gum of the toronto raptors)
-a single broken clappy hand from michelle
-a puto canton business card from pride and retail therapy with wayne-they advertised kisses that they did not deliver on
-my cassette receipt from masimba’s estate sale-what a lovely day of virgo bonding and being claimed by little nia immediately
wendi sasso‘s celebration of life card (pride sunday)
-my ticket for the ex (tsp vs. was on hold this year), solo with lindsay this year
-the film stars “unconventional” launch flyer where i finally met erin kang
-my love letter project postcard commemorating my return to on-camera work and finally meeting lindsay zier-vogel
-spoon from eva’s original chimney cone-i thought it would be hot and this was the first time that my cash was refused at an establishment

(highlights from) the daily notes:

-ten year friendaversary with zahra (celebrated at nordstrom, obvi)
-i returned to the pool (thank you, kary)
-more growth at studio po, another year in my long-term non-committal relationship with iyengar yoga
-i finally got to taiko class
-lots of vietnamese lunches courtesy of brian and nina at latre
-I LOVE LISA
-meeting brigitte mystique (for lunch at norstrom)
-colouring books, pencil crayons, colour/paint by numbers
-i have an office amethyst because i got to choose it out of the trunk of someone whose groceries i carried out to the car
lee daniels’ star, the best show on television
-getting verklempt for fay and fluffy story time for santa in the junction
-i decided that my power hair will be “growing this side to my ankles and keeping this side at a 1”, men hate it, it’s working
-“blessings are as blessings do”
-almost a full month in MTL
-i hugged the raptor (though there is no photo evidence because michelle didn’t have her glasses on)
-lots of good healing from susanda (acupuncture) and sharon (yoga)
-chinese new year with jess and james
-robbie burns day vegan supper club with valentine date
-clove cigarettes banned by law (but smoked one on NYE and found out that they’re still sold on baldwin)
-“hokkaido squash + roxanne gay”
-“love yourself, and you will come”
-850 day streak to get 10,000 lingots on duolingo (25 languages)
-30 day jumping jack challenge
-30 day squat challenge
-evan took me to nations in mississauga
-i cured fanen’s vertigo
-i rang in $1440 in marshmallows
fredy dedicated “pretty brown eyes” to me at his toronto show
-“my mom says that when it’s sunny and then raining, rats are getting married”
-double taurus colpo support team
-double aquarian leep support team
-meeting and holding chicken at 5 days old
-lots of good times with cat at our work places
-“sonia has hot hair”
-“we (cj and i) laughed about boundaries and mr. roy made him carry a lawnmower”
-north york eating tours
-i fell in love a little bit with a panda (i’ll always have those kisses)
-i was in a pile of (yorkie) puppies! (it was a dream came true!)
-finally made it to stories of ours
liz trout‘s estate sale
master of none season two and cracking the bake code
rafe esquith replied to an email i sent him
the heart podcast
lux‘s coming out party solo exhibit-so proud with her!
-i met cat’s baby olivia
-more streetknit
-asian brunch!
-dad has my “biblical cord”
-“i found new settings on my vibrator-woot! also, i didn’t go to yoga and feel great about it”
-i got on stage at practice, (very badly) sang “pony” at live band karaoke, and got recognized for working at the store
-desus and mero slam dunk baby baptism video (i love these two and am so glad i got to see them live at JFL this year)
-in the studio audience for canada reads
-two clothing swaps at temple 23 (RIP)
-“I AM NOT ARRANGING BAGUETTES! SLEEPING IN UNTIL 9:30 AND SHIT!”
jj bean is in toronto now (but so corporate)
-i moved into an iphone and got instagram
-lindsay and i wanted to go to take back the night but got as far as taking back the eaton centre. we designed the best garage sale posters and got up at the asscrack of dawn to sell wendi’s things in markham-polkaroo gets no wine glasses
-i wrote and sold my first script
-ontario ginger gold apples
-sleeveless in september
-“wendi’s ipod taught me that it’s a semi-charmed kind of life and not a semitone kind of life (my way is still better)”
-swapped summer clothes out for raptors gear for the first time, it feels so clean!
sza’s ctrl

the notes not written by me:

may 20, 2017

“when we go to sleep, we hear raccoons. simple and plain.” -kenza

“how many kisses do you need?”-me
“all of them”-tiju

“don’t talk to me-i’m not happy”-kenza

“goodnight. (i love you – in whisper).” -tiju

monday, august 28th: grateful for: the fabulous jackalope (that mythical being), corgi shirts 4 mins to closing, eternal bubble tea decisions (I can’t remember what i just ordered), ALPACAE-there they are!-making a paw, the Superdogs’ theme song NOT GRATEFUL FOR: the nonexistent entrance to Ricoh Coliseum (sorry, Stojko) -lindsay

sweet potato soup and honey tincture for a perfect mixture of soul nourishment meant to mention the array of beauty within your soul so colour-full I am most grateful for your being + allowing me to bee love you thank you for your hospitality authentically creating your best life I am inspired + admire your desire to live true. Cheers this rooibos tea to infinity more life no Drake Maya the Bee

pictures on the gram.

parkdale-7

mad late, but here are the haikus from last week before today’s last workshop:

the theme was “autumn turning into winter in parkdale”:

it’s too hot inside
smells of man are very ripe
polyester-no.

dark days turn frosty
leaves are more wet than crunchy
ground down into slush

farmer’s market done
tacos are all year round, though
faces-stuffed and starved

this time, they’re all about nature (maybe the theme set us up for success)-and i know that rule now.

time flies when you’re having fun.